The Pairings The Show Wouldn't Dare To Touch
by Jesus.Lives
Summary: Ricayla-Mikayla/Rico NOW: Roxson-Roxy/Jackson and others at your request. Laugh along at the hilarity and expense of the characters .
1. If Cupid Had a Heart

_A/N.__ Rico and Mikayla. Yes it's cute. And yes it's original. For those who don't want Rico to be loney forever._

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**If Cupid Had a Heart**

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"Urgh! I'm only doing this to spite Hannah Montana!" Mikayla said, trudging up the beach and too the little shanty they called 'Rico's'. 

A short little Latino boy took her hand, "Mikayla, my love. We've been expecting you."

"Who are you?" she demanded.

"I own this joint."

"Well, who cares? Where's Hannah Montana?"

"Oh, Hannah Montana and I go wayyyyyy back." He raised his eyebrows suggestively, "you jealous?"

"No."

He handed her a microphone. "Fine."

She took it and scanned the place for Hannah Montana who gave her a short wave. There she was with her ex-boyfriend Jackson. _Gross._

MiKayla started to sing her one hit wonder:

_"__do __do__do__do__do__do__do_

_Oh baby if cupid had a heart he would make you fall you'll fall in love with me and we'll time it all if cupid had a heart he would take my love if cupid had a heart he would surely throw an arrow through your soul better aim and go if cupid had a heart you'd be mine _

_I know I need you to see I need you and me_

_Oh-oh, oh _

_Love, love, love _

_Love, love, love _

_If Cupid had a heart he gave it away he shot them down to people with a frown __ow__ ooh if cupid had a heart he gave them all away he has shot them all to people with a frown if cupid had a heart he would surely throw an arrow through your soul better aim and go if cupid had a heart you'd be mine _

_I__ know I need you to see _

_I__ need you and me_

_If Cupid had a heart _

_It would stay in art _

_It's too complicated _

_If I had a heart _

_I would be the art _

_He couldn't steal it away from me _

_If you had a heart __If Cupid had a heart _

_If cupid had a heart he would surely throw an arrow through your soul better aim and go if cupid had a heart you'd be mine I know I need you to see _

_I need you and me_

_oh __oh__oh__oh__oh_

_If Cupid had a heart he would surely throw an arrow through your soul better aim and go if cupid had a heart you'd be mine I know I need you to see _

_I need you and me__"_

MiKayla ran her hand over the short boy's face, shooting Hannah a smarmy look and blowing the boy kisses.

"Well, you better call yourself 'Cupid', because I think you have my heart" Rico said to MiKayla with both hands over his chest.

MiKayla laughed. "And you think I'm a better pop star than Hannah Montana?"

"Hannah who?" Rico asked, looking at her adoringly.

MiKayla smiled at him, "you want a job as a roadie?"

"Heyyooo! Count me in!" Rico just about jumped out of his skin.

"Well, well, well… If MiKayla had a heart, she might have just found it in our little Rico there" Jackson said to Miley/Hannah, clapping just for show.

"Too bad for him she doesn't" Miley/Hannah snorted back to her brother or as MiKayla knew him – ex-boyfriend.

"Looks like they have something in common then" Jackson replied. The heartless MiKayla and the heartless Rico… **who could think of a better match?**

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**If you'd like to see an odd pairing - go ahead and tell me.**

**Pressing that button gives Rico much deserved love... from you (and Mikayla too!)**


	2. A Taste of Jackson

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_A/N._

_I was on **youtube** last night watching some funny Rickson videos – but the owners called the ship of Rico/Jackson Rackson. I thought Rackson was a bad name, because Rackson could also be… **Roxy and Jackson**._

_So I thought I'd write the first Roxson, which could also be called Rackson._

_Here it is:_

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**A Taste of Jackson**

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Jackson was just making his way to the kitchen counter, when all of a sudden he was pounced on. His body fastened to the floor and a heavy weight over him. 

He looked up at his attacker.

She looked back down at him, unhesitant.

"Roxy like…"

"A puma. Yeah… heard it." Jackson wriggled underneath her.

"You going somewhere boy? Cause Roxy can smell fear" She took a big whiff of him, "And something else."

Jackson's eyes darted. Whatever Roxy could smell could have been a number of things for a young, virile, teenage boy such as himself. He tried to wriggle himself out from under her heavy mass. When this was no use, he surrendered. "OK, OK. I'll return the stuff to Hannah's room. No harm, no foul."

She kept smelling him though, "Wooo-eeee! Roxy likes what she smells."

Jackson's face went from desperate to terrified. He struggled even harder now.

Now where you going boy? Don't know you when you struggle like that you look more fine than your super fine, hillbilly daddy?"

"I- I do?"

"Mmm-hmmm. And twice as virile too. Look at the way you've almost got out from under 'The Puma's grasp."

Her breath was hot on him.

"Sweet niblets!" Jackson squawked.

"I'm telling you that Roxy would like to take a bite" she bared her teeth at him and brought them dangerously close to his ear, to which he jumped, basically going nowhere since most of him was still pinned down.

He tried to push her away. "OK, OK… the Jacksonator is not for bitin'."

"How about just a taste for ol' Roxy?" she ran a hand down his face.

Jackson had finally wriggled himself free through sheer persistence. He ran out the door, not bothering to see if she was following because he was too scared out of his mind.

"Mmmm-hmmm. Roxy does like to see that boy run."

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**Mmm… Roxy does like to talk about herself in third-person. And also likes reviews. Mmm-hmm.**

**You know what Roxy also likes - y'all to go and check out 'If My Girlfriend's Rico There's Gonna Be Trouble.' So do those two things to avoid being "Puma-fied."**


End file.
